Ramblings of a Glitter-Coated Expat

and plenty other nonsense

[sticky post]Speak Friend and Enter
Welcome to all new friends here on LJ! I am so happy to have you here :) I love making new friends, especially on here, where so many friends I'd made in recent years have deleted their journals and have disappeared.

Since we're new friends, I'd like to take the time to introduce myself.

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Name: Mary

Age: 32

Status: Married to my best friend! (2-24-2016)

Kids: None.

Pets: None yet!

Occupation: I'm still searching. I have severe anxiety and depression and struggle to work.

Location: Leicester, UK. Before that, Toronto, Canada. Before that, Virginia. Then Kentucky. Then New York, where I was born.

Family: My parents were the mother and stepfather of my biological mother. So that means I was raised by my biological grandparents, but they were Mom and Dad to me and always will be. I lost Dad in December 2009, and I lost Mom in November 2012. I mention Debbie sometimes; Debbie is my biological mother and she and her family have always been in my life, which I think is very rare and special. I grew up with her other children, my siblings, and am now forming a very close relationship with them all now that Mom is no longer here.

Hobbies: I'm a jack of all trades! I write, draw, paint, blog, digital scrapbook, sculpt with polymer clay, make jewellery, and crochet. I'm learning how to sew. I also read quite a lot. Mmmm, books.

Spiritual Path: Right now, this is ever-evolving.

What else? Well... I love thunderstorms, coffee, rainy days, pen pals, warm pyjamas, weekend adventures, Kensington Market, makeup, and I kind of maybe haven't ever really grown up. I love Switzerland and I consider it to be part of my heart. I'm obsessed with vintage things and movies. I won't deny that I love music from the 40s!

Favourites (like you guys really care, but I like to go all-out :P)

Colour: Pink
Season: Autumn
Holiday: Christmas
Animals: Caribou, deer, flamingos
Food: Pizza
Treat: Green-tea flavour anything!

Where else can you find me?

My Site/Blog

So, uh, yeah :P Feel free to introduce yourselves in the comments here, but you don't have to go all-out like I did! LOL.

Merry Christmas!
Christmas Day was absolutely lovely! I feel so fulfilled, so happy, so very grateful.

I am full of love. And also FOOD!!!!

This limited edition Baileys in amazing in hot chocolate!

My hat may not be perfect, but it was fun to create and is super comfortable!


The cookbooks Jonno and I bought for each other. 2017 is going to be the year of cooking and baking, that's for sure!

I hope you've all had/are having a wonderful holiday season, whatever you celebrate! :)

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Hey guys! I think I've pretty much given up on LJ. Want to read more of my adventures? Check out http://goddess-within.me or add me on Facebook (Mary A. Gervasi). Love to you all!

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Dragon moon
January has come and gone, and February came in with a swath of snow and dangerous cold that we've both been joking about and staying inside from. It felt like -40* yesterday. You know, that temperature where Celsius and Fahrenheit meet up? Yeah, that one.

We went to Trevor's birthday party yesterday. It's always really hard for me to be at the house, and my mental health has been so poor that pretty much anything knocks the wind right out of me. Seeing him is tough, no matter how amicable we are. Seeing all my friends for two weeks in a row was good though, given that I won't be seeing them again for many months (more news on that to come).

I'm not sure if the bedbug problem is getting better or not, but we're back to getting bitten once a week if that. The diatomaceous earth seems to be helping as well as keeping areas clutter-free.

I got a lovely Valentine's surprise from my friend Grace today! With how depressed I've been, it was an awesome way to start my day and I feel so much better for it.



It was so sweet of her! I love getting happy mail and I'm excited to get another mix CD, too :)

Dragon moon
I think the bugs have reproduced. I've gone from being bitten once every 1-2 weeks to a couple times every single night. The newest ones from last night are on my freaking lower eyelid. MY EYELID. THESE THINGS ARE ON MY FACE.

I tell Liat, and she kind of shrugs it off. "It's pure coincidence," she says. "They're not reproducing, trust me."

She's pretty much the expert on everything ever.

She doesn't care that I've had severe, crippling panic attacks since September, partly in response to the infestation. I pay more than my fair share of the rent and groceries, and yet I'm not allowed to buy anything I want for myself. I've spent about $100 so far for trying to get rid of the bugs (including tons and tons of laundry, two large bags of diatomaceous earth that were a complete waste of money, etc) and Jon spent a good chunk buying Liat a new box spring and bug protector because hers was not only broken, but fully exposed and bedbugs were having a field day with it. She never so much as thanked him. Meanwhile, I'm on a couch with bedbugs biting me every night, and I dread going to sleep and I feel very anxious whenever I see bites on my skin (ESPECIALLY MY DAMN FACE).

I get yelled at if I do the dishes, as that's Alora's job and Liat said that if I take over, Alora will become irresponsible. Well... I look around, and the dishes pile up until nearly every one is dirty and we run out of plates, bowls, and flatware. She washes them maybe once or twice a week, and even then she gets overwhelmed and will only do a third of them. And neither of them ever clean the stovetop or counters, so I make sure to do that at the very least.

I'm amazed we don't have roaches on top of bedbugs.

Alora dislocated her knee a few days ago and has been out of commission, so I've been keeping up with the dishes every day and guess what? It's not a big deal!

Of course, I'm EXTREMELY grateful that the girls let me move in. I'm not trying to be a bitch. They are VERY difficult to live with, and although I love them and we've had some great times since September, I will breathe a huge sigh of relief when I move back out.

*Sighs* As usual, thanks for letting me vent, friends.

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Ugh, I just killed two massive bugs today. I'm so worried. But I won't be living here much longer anyway; I just hope I don't take these impossible-to-eradicate pieces of crap with me. I'm only getting bitten once every one to two weeks, and the number hasn't increased. But still. It's disgusting and mortifying, especially when I find them.

Not too much has been happening this month. I'm steadily preparing for what the next several months are going to bring me, and I'm working on art and trying to write again. From the 2nd to the 4th, we went to our friend Jamie's family cottage in Shelburne.

Shelburne is about 3 hours northwest, between here and Tobermory. It wasn't a lake cottage, but a forest cottage. There was snow on the ground, and the bright full moon, and not a smidgen of light pollution to be found. It was very nice to fall asleep to pure blue light streaming in through the windows of my designated room; that hasn't happened since I lived in Virginia.

The cottage hasn't changed much since it was purchased by Jamie's grandparents in the 1960s. It used to have full wood paneling that has since been whitewashed, but it still has a lot of its original furniture, including a red plaid Boston rocker sitting by full-length windows. It was wonderful to sit in that rocker, drink hot chocolate before the fire in the woodstove, and watch heavy snow coming down. We saw deer, and wolves, and everything was so quiet except for our laughter and the times when food was cooking (which was a lot).

In all those moments where our days stood still and there were no time constraints or obligations, I gathered up the memories and stored them away in a precious hiding place for my future. When I'm gone from my beautiful Canada, I will be taking these memories out and reliving and loving them for the rest of my life.

I'm learning to love and nurture myself after so much neglect and self-hate. Just sitting back in a cozy blanket, with a hot cup of tea and watching silly stuff on Netflix, and washing my face make me feel so much better. I'm in a deep depression, feeling severe agoraphobia, and I think I'm getting sick, so every little thing helps.

Woo, look what I got today from Grace, aka poeticknowledge!!!


Thank you so much, Grace!! I'm excited! :D :D :D

I rewrapped game, mix CD, and hot cocoa in the nice tissue paper and I'm waiting until Christmas Day to truly open everything :)

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Love Canada
I'm not entirely sure if I'm going to continue posting to LJ. I've archived both of my journals and have deleted my old one, Pippinlox. I've deleted my Tumblr and I'm strongly considering deleting this journal.

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Love Canada
It's spring! It's spring!!!

I think I'm recovering from this vicious cycle of depression I've been deeply mired in for so long. The warm weather, bird calls, greening trees, and smell of fresh-cut grass is helping, plus Anime North is only two weeks away from today and I'm very excited.

I find that I've been having to really slowly ease into normal habits, otherwise I overwhelm myself and relapse. It's really ridiculous at how fragile my mind has been. I haven't eaten normally since December, my sleeping habits have been off the wall, and I spent the winter cocooned in bed with crochet projects, books, and journals. This is beginning to change.

I'm inspired for art again, and writing, and living.

I fear relapsing now that I can't afford my antidepressants and am weaning off of them against my doctor's wishes. But we'll see. I have to be prepared for it and I have to be prepared to deal with it.

(no subject)
Sorry for the lack of updating again!

Trevor's been working for three, almost four weeks now :) He started off in Maple, at a European grocery called Yummy Market. He was transferred to the North York location yesterday because he'd be getting more hours (he had 37 this week and now he's going up to 44). He gets paid on the 1st of May and from then on every two weeks as usual.

The girls and I have been diligently working on our Anime North cosplays. I think mine will be 90% done this weekend, which is excellent because the con is in one month from today!

That's all for now! :)


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